The Herd

Ready to upgrade your empathy fatigue to full-blown nihilism? Slap on the “Thinning the Herd” playground special—where swing sets meet sunset overdoses and Darwin apparently runs recess. With its cheery dead-face emoji, sprawled-out junkies, and a lonely syringe glinting like a PTA trophy, this sticker says the quiet part so loud it echoes off the jungle gym. Perfect for water bottles, hard hats, or that motivational poster you hate; it’s the ultimate conversation ender for anyone still pretending we’re all in this together.