Just a little Heroin

Meet the poster child for “functioning” denial—our wide-eyed, rib-counting heroine who “barely even does heroin, thank you very much.” Sporting that chic graveyard-glow complexion and a posture that screams “I don’t need calcium, I’ve got vibes,” she’s ready to shout down anyone who dares question her dosage math. Slap this sticker on your laptop, tackle box, or the neighborhood harm-reduction kiosk and enjoy the whiplash as passers-by debate whether it’s satire, a cry for help, or both. Because nothing says self-care quite like insisting your needle habit is practically a wellness routine.